The ultimate 'audience' experience

What 50 years of marriage can teach publishers

This is what Substack’s generative AI thinks my parents look like. You’re welcome, parents. (AI generated image)

This week is my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary … which got me thinking about audience development … because I’m deranged.

Admittedly, your favorite publication won’t steal the blankets in the middle of the night and then snore up a storm. But seriously, when you think about the principles and phases involved in audience development, many are identical, marriage just takes them to an extreme.

Consider some of these core concepts from the courtship perspective:

The first enchanted encounter / Audience discovery

A lot of people meet their spouse when they’re not expecting it — my parents met because they lived in the same apartment complex and both had VW Bugs — but if you’re actively seeking your soul mate, you’re going to go where they’re most likely to be. It could be a bar or a night club or a dating app, but you’re going to somewhere there’s a good chance someone is seeking the same thing as you. And when you get there and start engaging with these people, you gravitate towards those with similar tastes and interests. This is about identifying the right audience and going where that audience is.

Then there are the more valuable introductions, where your friends, who know your tastes and interests (or your family members, who think they know your tastes and interests but definitely and deeply grasp their desire to have grandkids) refer you to someone who might be a match. In these instances, there’s a level of trust that elevates the recommended person because the person making the recommendation knows and likes both of you and thinks you’ll hit it off. This is referral traffic.

Congratulations! You made a good introduction and swapped phone numbers so you can start trading furtive text messages. Now you start the process of moving down the funnel … which sounds way more sexual in this context than I expected when I started this analogy.

Peacocking for page views / Audience development

Now you’re in the early stages of romance. You’re still competing against other suitors for the attention of your future beloved. You want to put your best foot forward. You make yourself look cool, attractive. You flaunt your chief assets. You show off your best content. (In the case of my wife, it was literally content, as I showcased an obscenely large DVD collection I’d amassed over the years.)

But that’s just part of the relationship. They want to know you care about them. They want to know they matter to you. If they like quiet nights at home and you keep trying to drag them to your favorite dive bar at midnight, you’re not driving the relationship in the right direction. Instead, you want to curate experiences that show you understand them. And after all, you know what they like from the time you’ve spent together (audience analytics), so you can better curate your dates. This builds trust and engenders affinity. Now it’s time to pop the question …

Will you … subscribe to me? / Audience engagement

Commitment can be scary! You have to type in an email address and/or take out a credit card … are you sure you’re ready for this? Of course you are, because you’ve had a string of really fun experiences, enjoying lots of different things (broad content appeal) and spending a lot of days together (time on site), so you know what? It’s time to settle down and cozy up with someone you not only find attractive (value to the audience) but really seems to understand you (well-curated experiences targeted at unique audiences).

Now you’re in it for the long haul. And it’s eternal bliss! Only that’s not the reality of marriage.

Renewing your vows / Audience churn

Throughout any life, throughout any marriage, there are challenges. There is hardship. There are things you will see that you don’t like. Is that left- or right-leaning columnist still on the front page of the site? Really???? After all the times I’ve reminded you about not leaving wet laundry in the washing machine?!?!?! (I … don’t know the connection between politically agenda-ed columns and soggy laundry, but I am often guilty of the latter to my wife’s chagrin. The point is, little things will add up and start to become a headache.)

If things get bad enough, maybe your audience starts looking for something new. Now you’re asking the kids if Auntie Axios or Uncle Vox has been coming around the house at odd hours. You need to be able to weather potential audience churn.

And you do that by demonstrating your repeated commitment to your partner (the audience). You never stop showing your best side. You always think about their needs and desires and balance those against yours (in the case of the metaphor, your resources). When times get hard and you haven’t seen your audience member for a while, you don’t fault them, you do everything you can to welcome them back with open arms (special experiences, rewards or discounts).

This is how audience relationships endure. You’re the real deal. You’re their lobster. You’re devoted to them for the rest of their life … or at least as long as their credit card stays on file.

The point is the courtship never stops. It’s a tireless exercise and if you stop thinking about your partner/the audience first, it’s far more likely to fall apart. If you start creating content to satisfy an internal business goal instead of serving and appealing to your audience, your relationship is going to end up on the rocks.

I just completed a consulting project that made me think of a line from the Jason Isbell song, “If We Were Vampires”: “If we were vampires and death was a joke / We’d go out on the sidewalk and smoke / And laugh at all these lovers and their plans / I wouldn’t feel the need to hold your hand.”

There was a time not all that long ago when media companies were vampires. They could put out whatever they wanted and it really didn’t matter because the money was coming in. Life felt eternal, but this approach, like vampirism, really isn’t healthy, is it? There’s an imperative in finding and fostering enduring love. It provides meaning. It’s true in marriage. It’s true in business.

I’m lucky. So, so lucky. I’ve been able to observe an object lesson in love, dedication and devotion from my parents over my lifetime. I’ve watched how their relationship created stability, which bred more stability, as I’ve applied those lessons to my own family … and, far less romantically, my work.

So, here’s to the wonderful Kathy and Ken Hume. Congratulations on 50 years of best-in-class audience curation!

Hi, I’m Mike. I’m a former editor for The Washington Post and ESPN. In 2024 I founded and now operate Launcher, LLC, a digital media consultancy operating out of Arlington, Va. Want to work together? Reach out on LinkedIn.